For Caroline – Tutorial 8 Oct – 3

For Caroline, for the purpose of discussion. Post will later be deleted and replaced with appropriate write-ups for all work.

The below quote inspired me to experiment with a couple of paintings.

“I stay because I am too weak to go. I crawl on because it is easier than to stop. I put my face to the window. There is nothing out there but the blackness and the sound of rain. Neither when I shut my eyes can I see anything. I am alone… There is nothing else in my world but my dead heart and brain within me and the rain without.” Location 425 [Poet: Edward Thomas]

I’ve just lost a long list of things I wrote here – so we’ll have to discuss it.

The landscape was inspired by turning the quote onto my life and feelings. Dragging myself across the landscape with colour draining out of me. My silhouette becoming unrecognisable and the clouds ominous, but optimistic, with gaping open mouths ready to engulf me with their fog of confusion.

The other was inspired by the above with inclusion of a newspaper by documenting my day in the style of Bobby Baker. Draining colour and the window frame also suggesting religious contexts which are common obsessions amongst depressives. All clips of the newspaper are from ‘the i’ on Friday and all relate to me personally from what I could find in the paper that day – generally I don’t read papers anymore as I find them too depressing.

I worked on both pieces at the same time – which is something new for me.

My chair continues to get hairier, but is not yet completed. Angela suggested I do something less time-consuming, so I feel like I have to leave my fabric sculptures alone for a while – although they remain brewing in my head as I still want/need to make them.

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